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Under the WillowI met you, Under the willow tree. We were only children, We were two or three.Under the Willow
Under the willow, Is where we played. And when we got tired, We slept in it's shade.
Around the willow, Our memories stayed, Even as teenagers, When we first got paid.
Under the willow, Is where I met you again. And we laughed at the stories, From way back then.
It's where I asked you, To marry me, How romantic it seemed. Under the willow tree.
It's where we put our house, And our children grew. Where
by ~DarkShadowOfFate
I Meant to Say I'm SorryI meant to say I'm sorry, For all that is lost, And how I know I left you, And how I know your cost.I Meant to Say I'm Sorry
I left to say I'm sorry, I meant to say good-bye, And when the clock strikes. I know I'm out of time.
But If I say I'm sorry. Will you know I am here? I long to see you, hear you, And know that you are near.
But if you never see me, I know I must be lost, Because I said I'd love you, No matter what the cost.
But now I'm gone, And you don't know. I meant to say good-bye, I wanted to grow old.
by ~DarkShadowOfFate
Typical DeathWhat is a typical death? Someone here without a breath, But tell me now am I not dead? For I can't breathe and I can't dread. Is it life at wit's end? Where I am something quite unsaid. But if that's true then all are dead, To everyone who's in their bed, But if death is when we long to stay. Then we will never be okay.Typical Death
by ~DarkShadowOfFate
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Devious Info
- Interests: Anime, Final Fantasy, Manga, Poetry, Yaoi,Major Yaoi fan
- Favourite movie: Vampire Hunter D and Vampire Hunter D Bloodlust
- Favourite artist: Nightswirlyoukai
- Favourite poet or writer: Myself because of self fulfillment. Stephen King because he's cool.
- Favourite game: Final Fantasy series!!!!!!
- Favourite gaming platform: Playstation 2
- Favourite cartoon character: D from Vampire Hunter D
- Personal Quote: ~People hide the person inside~
- Email: Jstnrx@aol.com
- AIM: jstnrx
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I draw lines so one day they will grow up to be something
*runs off like she was never there*
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"...Are you going to come eat the chicken?"
~Brian Kinney, QAF
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~GS, making the world a lovelier place since 1981!
YOU WILL LAUGH YOUR BUTT OFF!!!!
I'm so pretty, oh so pretty...
hehe go see it.
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"...Are you going to come eat the chicken?"
~Brian Kinney, QAF
CHOCOBO!! [link]
hee. ralley-ho!
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"...Are you going to come eat the chicken?"
~Brian Kinney, QAF
The main thing I'd like you to consider is concrete imagery, which I mentioned in the critique on "I Meant to Say I'm Sorry." Try writing some poems that focus just on imagery. Look out your window and try to describe everything that you see. Present a picture for the reader, bring them into the scene, and really make them see it. You can still convey ideas, but try to use images and metaphors to do it.
I also suggest reading more poetry on your own, just to see the full range of work and to see what other poets do. I'm sure you'd appreciate Keats, Wordsworth, or Blake. But also look at some Modern poetry, like Eliot, Pound, Yeats, and onward to some Beats, especially Ginsberg. I get the sense that you just need to feed your mind with a wider variety of stuff. It's a great way to learn.
All that said, I see promise in your ideas. I think if you learned more of the craft of poetry and played around more, you push those ideas further. Just keep writing poems and don't be afraid the take chances.
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At your service.
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Harder than a drama
Softer than a porn
Wishing I was there... Wishing you were here...
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"...Are you going to come eat the chicken?"
~Brian Kinney, QAF
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"And you shall shed tears of scarlet." ~ Vicious
Join the club please!!
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